The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Midoriya]

Start your own adventure camp!

How do I get to the top of a very tall tower?

 

[princess.looking.for.frog]

Jump. Just jump.
or well like run up the side?? Comeon who are these humans.

What should I do if my parrot wont shut up?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Bake it.

How do I take care of a hamster?

 

[Midoriya]

Bake it.

What do I do if my cat won’t leave me alone?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Put it in a stock pot and let it simmer for at least two hours. Don't forget to skim the impurities!

My computer won't stop running out of batteries. Is there a fix to this?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Yes. Baking it will allow the batteries to last longer.

I can’t find my other sock

 

[deana]

You should cut off one of your feet. This will also save you a LOT of money on socks in the long run.


My phone battery is dead, what should I do?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Perform CPR.

Where can I find a chair?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

A table.

my sister isn’t coming downstairs for dinner

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Destroy the foundations in your house so the floor above will collapse and your sister has no excuse to not come.

Where can I get cheese?

 

[princess.looking.for.frog]

From a curtain shop if they are in the regions of the moon

How do I eat dinner without a fork?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Spoiler: get one of these

My cable box isn’t working.

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

Put a potato in it. It'll help it run 68% faster with added potassium and carbs.

My AC isn't working and it's 118 outside. What do I do?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

start measuring the temperature in celsius, but keep the numbers from fahrenheit.

I fell asleep and auto play was on. when I woke up, troom troom was on.

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Burn it with fire.

Uh oh, my Joy Con is drifting. Any ideas to fix it?

 

[Kirbyz]

send it to nintendo and get a new one back

i feel nauseous what do i do

 

[OtakuTrash]

Eat 8 tablespoons of mayonnaise. That should help you.

I left my bag at home

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

say screw it and buy a new bag

i feel lonely, though i'm always around people. what do i do?

 

[Midoriya]

Sing to them. Sing to everyone you see. Sing about how you want to be friends. Then they’ll want to be friends with you.

How to drive a car (Shellzilla, if you’re the one to respond to this I will laugh so hard)?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Apply gas all the way, use other cars as your brakes, play Initial D music, honk your horn nonstop, go unreasonably slow, weave side to side, drive in reverse gear, ram cars off the road for no reason, and park near a fire hydrant. Congratulations! Now you never have to deal with traffic again due to other road users having fear of your 'professional' driving.

Now how do I do laundry?