The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Midoriya]

Organize an official CatFightClub for them to participate in. Last cat standing wins (and remember, the only rule about CatFightClub is that we don’t talk about CatFightClub).

How do I make the most delicious coffee?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

the secret to amazing coffee is adding ketchup and vinaigrette salad dressing. you’ll want to slowly stir these in while mixing your coffee. everyone will like it so much that they’ll throw up because they think they don’t deserve such amazingness!

my mom blames every problem i have on electronics

 

[Neb]

Create a new problem without electronics! She can’t blame all of your problems on them if you, say, read books for 14 hours a day instead of your responsibilities.

How do I get rid of this headache from the moderna vaccine?

 

[frogslime]

What's the opposite of moderna? That's right, ancienta... I think. Take a dose of that and you should be well on your way! Though you may get foot aches...

How do I keep my siblings from stealing my things?

 

[Firesquids]

call the police

How do I get my dog to like baths?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

You don’t. Just toss them in a bathtub and wash them vigorously.

How do I make a tree fully grow in four days?

 

[Marridia]

consume the tree

how do I stop my phone chargers from not working anymore

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Become the phone charger.

How can I stay dry in the rain?

 

[Stil]

Don't go outside in the first place, duh.

I just drank 3 gallons of saltwater. What should I do?

 

[Neb]

Balance out the ocean experience by swallowing some sand.

I’m out of clean socks! What should I do?

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Cut your feet off. This will also save you a lot of money in the long run because you’ll never have to buy socks again! Or shoes!

I have -1.4k tbt, what do i do?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Ask for a loan. You'll go deeper into debt!

How do I make a campfire?

 

[Midoriya]

Use an active volcano as a base. Just be careful not to fall in...

How do I have a solid hour of uninterrupted quiet time?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Go to a busy place downtown. It'll be so loud, you'll be deaf within minutes. Now it'll be quiet!

Nintendo stopped supporting repairs for the original 3ds. What should I do if something goes wrong with it?

 

[Neb]

Convince Nintendo to fix it by glueing the clamshell open and taping a Switch logo sticker on the back. They won’t know the difference!

How do I quit making impulse purchases?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Buy more products. More specifically blind bags, kinder surprise eggs, and animal crossing amiibo cards at scalped prices!

How do I stop my villagers from giving me duplicate diy recipes?

 

[Stil]

Quit playing AC

I cant poop. What should I do?

 

[Midoriya]

Vomit instead.

How do I make an accurate geographical representation of a planet?

 

[Neb]

Draw an outline of Texas.

How do I get myself to read during the day?

 

[Midoriya]

Go to the library and dive into a pile of books. Read all of them that are there, even if they aren’t interesting to you!

How do I make a solar system model for science?