What's Bothering You?

[Seastar]

This Christmas would've been better if the weather was warmer and not so cold I'm forced to sleep in the living room. I'm not even getting enough sleep. I spent half the day wishing I could just go sleep in my room.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm not even gonna lie the more years that go by the less I actually want to celebrate the holiday season. today was pretty underwhelming considering how much people like to hype up Christmas time. I'm just glad it's almost over. I want everything to go back to normal.

also it's been absolutely freezing the last few days, I was miserable going into work today bc it was only abt 8°F all day and despite being bundled up I was froze basically the entire day. and I have to work again tomorrow, when it'll only be about 9-12°F. I wish I could just stay home and stay warm tomorrow. I've been shivering so much it's making my back hurt.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

Went to the optometrist today; I gotta go see a neuro-ophthalmologist again I went to one 5 years ago and he told me that I had to get some scan done but I ended up just... not doing that.
Basically my optic nerves in one eye are puffy; the pressure is off the charts. So I gotta find out why. Luckily I don't have any other symptoms that would point to a brain tumor... but who knows

Really hoping it's something that can just be cleared up with medication and not surgery or a lumbar puncture *shivers* spine stuff freaks me out

On the bright side I'm getting new glasses and will be trying out daily contacts so thats cool

 

[xSuperMario64x]

the worst part abt being apothi-asexual is the occasional horrifying realization that most people are not ace, I don't mean anything bad by that but just thinking abt it makes me really uncomfortable. I know it's a stupid thing though. being apothi-ace sucks.

 

[moonbyu]

it's getting bad again

 

[Ravenkitty22]

Spoiler

I really hate the fact that my parents know that I have some sort of anxiety disorder, but they choose to do absolutely nothing about it. However, the second my brother showed symptoms of ADHD, they dropped everything to get him tested, and then accommodations and medication. To be fair, I’m not saying that he shouldn’t have what he needs, or that anyone who’s neurodivergent should have to deal with not having that, I’m just frustrated at my parents’ attitude towards my brother. This kid could probably get away with murder. If he does something it’s “not his fault, he’s young, and he has ADHD,” but if I do something small, I get a two-hour long lecture complete with yelling and a lot of empty threats. I feel so bad that I’m getting so upset about this, especially since today’s my brother’s birthday, and he’s a sweet kid at heart. I just don’t think this is fair.

 

[Firesquids]

I'm so irritated rn cause I have no idea what to do.

so I switched my cats' litter box (in my room) to wood pellets recently because it's way cheaper than clay litter and it's environmentally safe and biodegradable. however one of my cats absolutely refuses to use it. she just won't and I don't know why. she does fine with clay litter as long as it's cleaned frequently, but I really don't like using clay anymore bc it's not environmentally safe and it's expensive. I've been having to boot her out of my room at night bc if she's in my room with the wood pellet litter she will simply poop on my bathroom floor (and it's extremely difficult to pick up bc atm she's dealing with some health issues which makes her stool really runny and gross). I'm so tired of dealing with it but I would really really prefer to not go back to clay litter. I'm hoping to convert all the litter boxes in the house to wood pellets but i can't do that if one of my cats refuses to use it.

maybe if there's a litter out there that closely resembles clay but it's environmentally safe and biodegradable, as well as affordable (we have six cats so we go through a lot of litter), then I could start using that. but as of right now I just don't know what to do and it's incredibly frustrating.

only other option would be to re-home the cat and I don't want to have to do that bc she's very close/connected to me and if she was suddenly put in a new home she would probably be terrified/depressed. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Mud Bay | Buy Mud Bay Palouse Kitty Wheat Cat Litter, 10-lb for USD 10.99 | MudBay

Buy Mud Bay Palouse Kitty Wheat Cat Litter, 10-lb at MudBay.

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This is kind of litter I use for my cats, is has a texture more like clay but it environmentally safe and sustainable. Not too expensive and doesn't smell. Hope this helps.

 

[ali.di.magix]

My dad is just an *******...in so many ways that I can't even be bothered listing it.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I just feel so isolated and broken.

 

[Marridia]

one of my wrists started hurting randomly. at least it's not my drawing hand/wrist. also I been getting bad sleep lately which sucks cuz now I'm tired during the day.

 

[Croconaw]

I was very stressed out today at work.

 

[Romaki]

why is my username in the bad word filter at ea

 

[~Kilza~]

Honestly, this whole year's bothered me. There's just been a lot of bad **** that's happened, and it's really taken its toll on me. I'd rather not talk about most of it here, though. As far as TBT is concerned, I can't help but think about what I had posted back in May:
"I'm just another user here and if I was to leave tomorrow, nobody would care I was gone."

Those words have been repeated in my head a lot over the past few months. There honestly hasn't been much since then that's convinced me those words aren't true and my perception of reality in this case is false. It's led me to feel more and more like an outcast in this community.

There's a lot of words I had typed up after that paragraph, but I can condense them into 4 simple words: The problem is myself. I self-sabotage myself to make sure I don't fit in anywhere.

At this point I'm going to take yet another extended leave in a few days, my 4th hiatus since 2022 began, to try and reset. Though permanently leaving is now an option on the table.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I just feel so isolated and broken.

I feel a bit better now but honest to god sometimes I just hate myself for being ace, I feel so lonely. there's no one beyond this forum I can connect to bc none of them are ace so they don't understand my struggle. all my closest friends (as in one's I talk to every day) are also not ace so it's not like they can really help either. I genuinely feel like there's something wrong w me, and it doesn't help when people say **** like "are you sure it's not a hormone imbalance?" or "how is [being ace] even possible?"

ideally I could live in a world where I never hear abt stuff like that ever again. I could just live my life in peace, the way I want to. yet everywhere I turn I hear abt it and it makes me feel sick. I feel stupid just saying that but I'm not kidding. idk what else to say besides I just feel so so incredibly lonely not being able to really connect w other ace people.

 

[-Mars-]

---

 

[Alienfish]

our internet ****ing like, i lost count how many time i had to restart my laptop cause trying to look up whats wrong doesnt work like...uh.

guess its time to get a new router?

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I don't know if this makes you feel any better or if you already knew this but I'm Queerplatonic sex-repulsed Aroace actually

I think I may have known that, I knew you were aroace but hearing you're also queer-platonic and apothi-ace does make me feel better and a little less lonely. I know I don't really know you personally but I do consider you a great friend and I hope we can be friends for a long time

 

[Xara]

snip

i hope you don’t mind me replying to this. this might not mean much since i know we don’t talk often, but i would care and notice if you were gone. you’re a really nice person, and i admire how much effort and dedication you put into tbt events. you were a natural leader and so helpful during camp bell tree in 2021, and those are traits i honestly wish i had. you’re good, and i enjoy seeing you around.

i know what it’s like to feel like an outcast, here and in general — i feel that way a lot of the time, too. it sucks, but i promise you’re valued here. i completely respect your decision to go on hiatus, or even leave permanently if that’s what you need or want to do, but know that you do have people in your corner (me included). i really hope next year is a lot better for you.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

@~Kilza~ I'll always remember you as the awesome person who managed to snag the golden egg during this year's egg hunt. what a feat that is! I can't speak for everyone but I would certainly miss seeing you around here, as I do with many other active members who leave for one reason or another. just do whatever you think is right for you.

 

[Chris]

"I'm just another user here and if I was to leave tomorrow, nobody would care I was gone."

I think everyone feels this way to some degree. I certainly do and I've been staff here since 2014. I honestly feel I'm hated by the majority of the community here and that my mindset and way of doing things is greatly different from the community as a whole. I debate stepping down every few weeks because of it, honestly. At the end of the day I just remind myself it is an internet forum and being well-known or liked online doesn't really matter or have any impact on the real world at all.

Uh, I just hopped in here to complain my stomach hurts and I've a long car ride back to civilisation in a few hours.