What's Bothering You?

i’ve been sick for two days but it feels like it’s been longer than that, i’m kinda dreading going to work tomorrow (please don’t bring your sick kids to the mall so they can cough and sneeze everywhere???)

and i was so excited to get my ps5 today but lucky me got one where someone cut through the box, and me being the picky person that i am decided that this isn’t an acceptable condition for a new console, so now i have to wait until january for the replacement because they don’t keep any stock at the store (after my break is already over) :/
 
ended up not getting to sleep til after 12:30, and I still woke up multiple times in the night for good measure. I've been awake for an hour now, since about 5:45, and I just want to go back to sleep but I don't know if I'll be able to 😭

edit: also my memory lately has been absolutely horrible and it's actually so frustrating.
 
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I just woke up but I'm already bothered by my parents lack of logic

I went to the kitchen to see my mom ready to go out somewhere, I asked and she said the was going to the grocery store. I asked to come with and she said no that she wanted to leave at that moment.

Fine, don't ***** and moan when I ask you to take me literally Xmas eve or some dumb **** cause I need lunches for work and I ran out. Y'alls are slacking on gettin my car on your insurance and a tag so I literally cannot drive myself to the grocery store. Also, it takes me like 5 minutes to get ready.

Had she had told me she was going to the grocery store last night, which I KNOW she knew she was cause she plans ahead, I could have gone and stocked up on work lunches+other food so that I wouldn't need to go closer to Xmas where it gets stupid busy. But now I'm going to be petty cause you couldn't be ***ed to wait five minutes for me to get ready and take me. Cause apparently I'm such a hassle to take to the grocery store so I can eat at my work on break🙄. God forbid I get myself groceries.

*That I pay for with my own money from my job and I'm usually done before she is. She literally has no ****in excuse.
 
idk if I'm, like, dissociating or what. but I don't even feel like it's the time of year for Christmas anymore. I feel like it's January? and there's no holidays going on? it feels weird to me to see decorations and hear Christmas songs. I feel like it shouldn't be a thing happening right now. such a strange feeling honestly.
 
I just woke up from a dream about my best friend and a little bit of my ex in it too. Normally, dreams about my best friend are fine but since I’m waiting to hear back from him and our last two conversations, I’m hurting so much and am close to tears. I’ve been hoping for a sign that what happened was a joke; I wish I could look at the dream as a good sign but considering everything, i highly doubt it. 😔💔 was hoping to settle things before christmas so the holidays could be good.
 
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I’m still angry at that one moderation I received 15 years ago. After I received my first warning, I couldn’t go a whole month without receiving another warning. But when I tried going a whole month without a warning, only to receive a warning for flaming at the last minute, I was angry. I’m never going to forgive TV.com for giving me a warning at the last minute when I tried going a whole month without one. Whatever I was moderated for wasn’t even listed in the TOS.
 
Why is talking to extended family so awkward for me eeeee... I do not know these people, I feel like I’m making awkward small talk with a stranger rn 😭
If you don't know them then there's really not much you can talk about. They are just a stranger. You can make small talk about the weather or basic boring stuff that anyone can relate to because you don't know anything about them. You wouldn't go up to a random stranger in the store and just strike up conversation. With family gatherings you're kind of just stuck in place until it's time to leave. I know when I was young my family would take me to all these family events where I knew no one and it was always old people who didn't do anything but talk and sit on couches. That's so boring. There's only so much you can do with that, especially if they're complete strangers to you.
 
Why is talking to extended family so awkward for me eeeee... I do not know these people, I feel like I’m making awkward small talk with a stranger rn 😭
I have that problem too sometimes. It's even worse when I forget their name and have to rely on my mom or dad to remind me of what their name is. I've never been good with maintaining social connections with my own extended family, and it's mainly because I don't really know what to talk about that isn't sensitive to me.
ended up not getting to sleep til after 12:30, and I still woke up multiple times in the night for good measure. I've been awake for an hour now, since about 5:45, and I just want to go back to sleep but I don't know if I'll be able to 😭
I hate waking up in the middle of the night on a workday to look at the clock, knowing then that I have to wake up. It then lingers in my mind until the actual alarm goes off, and I wake up all groggy and miserable because my mind became hyper-focused on not oversleeping. It really doesn't help that it's 4:45AM I usually wake up at...
I’m still angry at that one moderation I received 15 years ago. After I received my first warning, I couldn’t go a whole month without receiving another warning. But when I tried going a whole month without a warning, only to receive a warning for flaming at the last minute, I was angry. I’m never going to forgive TV.com for giving me a warning at the last minute when I tried going a whole month without one. Whatever I was moderated for wasn’t even listed in the TOS.
That reminds me of those random moments that pop into my mind that make me feel embarrassed, despite said events happening so long ago. For example, I just remembered publicly writing on one of those little portable whiteboards in my 8th grade Spanish class that a girl I liked was awesome. She liked my message, but nowadays that's a thing I wouldn't feel comfortable doing.

Punishment-wise, I got warned here on TBT a few months ago for sharing a comedy YouTube video that had a specific bad word in the title, uncensored. All the video was, was a cover of the Star Wars theme done poorly on a recorder. Someone saw my post that had the word, reported it, and subsequently got my post edited by the mods with a warning posted to my account. Seeing that big long message (that takes up a whole page) pop up that day made me twitch and feel uneasy. I then posted my apology, and didn't post anything else for the rest of the day. I got over it quick, however, and I'm no longer bothered by that warning being there. Lesson learned: Don't post swear words on TBT.



I'm a little irate at my job at the moment. First off, that promotion I applied for didn't come to me, and I never even received a second interview session. I was told it's because of my lack of experience, despite me being a quick learner. Whatever. Shortly after I got the interview boot, they decided to shove an entire bus route in the middle of my (actually decent) two-school run, as the driver that normally does that route is on long-term leave. This "new" 3rd route makes me insanely late to the school I normally do last, and they're refusing to give this to a different driver. When I asked why they wouldn't change it, it was because they needed, and I quote: "...a driver who the children can consistently expect.". This was told to me by my boss after only the first day doing the route, and basically meant that I'm stuck with it for the long haul. They're very well aware that I'm getting to my normal school insanely late, but they don't seem to care about those children now getting home late every day. The worst part is that I don't know any of these new kids' names, and it takes me a very long time to remember names. All the stops on this route are multi-student stops, so that won't help me remember anyone at all. I wrote a long letter of concern stating that I'll even refuse to do this afternoon run if nothing changes, and I hope it doesn't come to me intentionally calling off to get my message across.

Normally, I don't mind subbing every now and then, but this is a major time conflict that bothers me greatly. The fact that they're essentially telling me to deal with it is even worse. I'm not happy about this at all.
 
It’s mindblowing how rampant cheating is in Among Us considering that 1) it ruins the entire point of the game and 2) there’s literally no reward for winning? People wreck everything. :/
 
I got in a really ugly crash today that really messed up my neck. Luckily my seatbelt saved me, yet it left a nasty burn on my chest and neck. The wreck wasn’t my fault and the lady who ran the red light had insurance, so everything is okay. Everyone involved in the wreck was alright, but both our cars were really messed up. Hers was salvageable but my truck was totaled. It really sucks but I’m very lucky to be alive right now. The paramedics said if I was a little farther ahead she would’ve hit my drivers side door and I would’ve been dead, which really scared me. I’m grateful I’m okay and came out of my first wreck okay and not too badly injured, but it ruined my day. Luckily, my boyfriend rushed to come be with me and make sure I was alright, and he really helped me through all the nerves and stress.
 
i love how my mom and sister will exclude me/make me feel like an inconvenience and then act shocked when i go out without them, i kinda enjoy going to random stores like ikea and watching them get upset even if i come home empty handed lmao

like sorry for wanting to be included in your mother/daughter things if i’m also a daughter who wants to spend time with my mom and sister???? i don’t need to make my presence known and would be content just being able to quietly follow you two around ;; i wouldn’t have cared if you told me you were going shopping, but if you tell me “oh we just need to exchange some shirts” and then show up with a bunch of bags from the stores i like then yeah i’m going to feel a bit upset that you couldn’t just tell me your plans up front so i didn’t feel lied to (i wish i wasn’t, but i’m a sensitive person, so i easily feel like these two intentionally pick times when i can’t go)

it’s nice feeling like i don’t fit in anywhere in the family… my cousins are too old or young, my dad doesn’t seem to have much interest in me aside from how much money i can give to him, i rarely see my sister and just think it would be nice to spend time together (and when my sister isn’t here and i try to ask my mom to do the same things she’s somehow always too tired or busy) but recently i’ve been questioning how my older sister used to be my favourite person and if she ever liked me or pretends to because she feels like she has to
 
It’s mindblowing how rampant cheating is in Among Us considering that 1) it ruins the entire point of the game and 2) there’s literally no reward for winning? People wreck everything. :/
I was in non homebrew pokemon trading group, it was interesting to see people justifying that there, or get mad when no one wanted their crap. They eventually started sniping other peoples trades on the gts, then with the trade codes on switch, just to grief us.
 
I see the aurora egg is for sale, I would love to have mine back but... it's just not gonna happen. 😔
not gonna lie, I've kinda dipped out of the collectible market, too many rare ones that are ungodly expensive and at this rate I'll never afford. my luck dropped off after I sold my soul for a final boss feather. wish some of these rare collectibles would get proper re-releases, but oh well. not to mention, new ones keep coming out that I know I'll never have, like the purple flower wand. I think I'm done.

also feeling sick today cause yall know what time it isssssss! :,,,,,,,,)
 
Chris: "Do you think I'm being silly bailing on board games tonight?"
GF: "No honey you're sick. I think you're being sensible."

Almost immediately my nose starts bleeding. Then ten minutes later I almost fall over backwards while attempting to take a step forward - luckily there was someone there to catch me and guide me to a chair. Well that's my decision for tonight made. 👏
 
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