What's Bothering You?

[Xara]

.

 

[daringred_]

my GP office is so unreliable it drives me insane. they send me a letter asking me to make an appointment (instead of just, y'know, giving me one like a hospital would) and then when someone finally gets through, they make it with the wrong doctor and a month away. so we called back today, and now apparently their system is ~playing up~ and we should call back monday or tuesday. what, exactly, is stopping them from making a note somewhere and then arranging me an appointment when their system pulls itself together? why do i have to keep wasting my time playing chase the appointment instead? you can't even make one online because any time you try, it's just phone call appointments, or -- like right now, until march 3rd -- empty. i hate to rag on the NHS because it's a lifesaver and not their fault the tory government is crippling them, but dear god.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

xoxo

I'm so sorry you feel that way love I know you've been struggling a lot, and I understand how you feel as I've experienced similar things myself. depression is awful and really sucks the life out of you. but please always remember that you have friends who love you and care about you. you know you can always reach out on Discord if you need some company or just want to chat for a while.

 

[Croconaw]

Spoiler: rambling

I'm detaching from my favorite person to no fault of her own. I don't know. I used to have to see her every week. Now, I can go longer without seeing her. I still carry her work name tag with me in my bag, but I just can't be bothered to remove it. I haven't thought about it being in there. I'm not latching onto another person... It's just, I'm becoming more dependent on myself. The only significant thing that's changed in my life is my job over that amount of time. Was I really in that stressful of an environment I felt the need to keep that obviously unhealthy connection going? I don't know what prompted me to officially ask for a transfer, but something officially clicked in my brain at the other job; not the toxic one. That's when I knew it was probably the right decision. It wasn't something that upset me at my other job, but it was a situation at my other job that made me feel like I actually belonged.

It was different because over the past few years, I'd quit jobs based on one specific thing that happened that upset me. It was a rinse and repeat scenario. One year that I was doing my taxes, I had to wait for a record, NINE tax forms for the jobs I had over the course of that year. If you asked me about a negative aspect of my job, I'd have a hard time thinking of one. I truthfully can't think of a single person I dislike. I was letting my emotions control me over the past two years which prompted me to say things I didn't mean and develop into someone I'm not.

It feels normal not obsessing or thinking about my favorite person all the time. It just feels more lonely without that aspect of my life, but it's better than being forced into toxic groups I shouldn't be part of in the first place. There was a point in my life at the other job that I started vaping, but stopped after about a week after realizing it wasn't helping. I received it from someone I considered my friend at the other job because she said it would help my stress. I used to consider myself anti-smoking, but clearly I'm not as against it as I once thought. The vape was given to me by the same person responsible for my write-up - and there I go blaming someone else for my overreaction. Basically, she was one of two people that were serving. I was only helping the one person because while she was filming Tiktoks in the breakroom, the one person was actually doing their job. When the girl asked me to help her, I told her no because I'd rather help the person actually doing their job. I got written up for catering to one person and refusing to help anyone. So, basically, I received a vape to help reduce my stress from one of the people causing me stress. That was the job I transferred from.

I'm pretty sure I found a job I actually like, and that's a big deal for someone with BPD such as myself. I'm detached from my favorite person. We're definitely still friends. I'm just questioning some of the other friendships I have because the only meaningful connection I've had with someone up to this point has been with my favorite person.

 

[Soigne]

tired of driving through ice!! i need to move so i don't live on a rural street. we never get road treatments or plowing done.

 

[Dunquixote]

snip

I’m so sorry to hear this and that I’m late to see this.I’m here if you need to talk (no pressure ofc) . Sending you hugs and good vibes

Spoiler

Just woke up and just thinking of Valentine’s day makes me want to sleep the whole month away so I don’t have to see the advertisement. I don’t watch tv but I’m on the internet a lot. I need to eat but I just don’t want to or interact with anyone. :/ I know I’m acting childish in some ways but I don’t know how to cope anymore when everything I had put my hopes on and kept me going is now gone. He said give it time, but no it has been 8 years and he does this to me; he always took months to reply sometimes throughout the years but more frequently now with this new job :/ how can i be okay and when my best friend and only personal friend is never here for me anymore.

Spoiler: boycotting

Edit: My sister’s birthday was a couple days ago and my mom picked out a starbucks card for me to give her (my situation is complicated; would pick it out myself if I could and also if i was in a better frame of mind). I am so mad; I told her before Christmas when I was reading about the BDS movement who not to buy from and she said she wouldn’t buy from them, Mcdonald’s or other companies on the list that i showed her before Christmas. I know she is getting old and forget, but she could just say she forgot. My mom feels the same about what is going on there, but when it comes to being dedicated to boycotting, it is questionable. My sister doesn’t know about anything going on, but I absolutely refuse to buy from anyone supporting the genocide. I feel bad for getting mad (didn’t take my anxiety medicine yet) but people have been dying and being forcibly displaced for 75 years and I don’t want to give a gift that is at the expense of people’s lives.

 

[Beanz]

i need to draw but im uninspired and im tired all the time. i need to get off the ‘gram because its interfering with my sleep schedule.

 

[savanniebananie]

I just bought a new 3ds charger a few months ago and it’s already starting to give out. I have to move the cord a certain way for it to keep charging and it’s really frustrating. This is my fifth charger in the past year or two. It’s not fun buying new chargers all the time.

 

[Aniko]

Because of that **** humidity I found silverfish in my boxes of photos!

 

[Dim]

I get we all have anger and anxiety, I just don't get why mine has to jump from 1 to 10 in an instant every single time. It just hits hard and it's taking a toll on my mind and my body. It doesn't even matter what triggers it anymore. I just want it to stop already but I can't even control it. I've been diagnosed with autism 3 years ago but I still haven't found anything or anyone to help me cope with it. I tried reaching out for specialists but their either "too booked" or they just don't respond to me.

 

[Xara]

.

 

[Seastar]

Spoiler

Never thought I'd be saying this but can winter stop existing?
My parents like to go outside and start a fire but our house is so old and falling apart that some of the smoke gets in depending on which way the wind blows. I am a bit sensitive to this, though not enough to start coughing so nobody here ever understands me. Sometime last month I got extremely stressed out because it filled most of the house all night/morning. I couldn't relax or anything. I've been scared of that possibly happening again and today my throat has been really bad for other reasons so obviously I'm very upset they would do something that could make it even worse. I don't even have the energy to explain it to them because I know they won't get it. They didn't get it the last time, where I got uncontrollably angry. (It certainly didn't help my mom is so clueless she suggested spraying air freshener. That was the last straw.)On a totally different topic, I wish I was better at handling anger... It's not that bad online, but offline? Yikes.

 

[Zane]

the heater in my car seems to be broken..please please please can i just get a ****ing break. i’m in the middle of nowhere in a different province with no support during the canadian winter, i’m about to collapse in on myself like a dying star

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Spoiler

so tired of telling my mom about how I finally came out of my hypomanic episode after dealing with it off and on for months straight, and when I tell her my symptoms of hypomania she tries to pin other health ailments on me. oh, I was dealing with severe physical symptoms of anxiety and panic? I must have POTS. like???? she's not denying that I'm bipolar yet she does this???

I dunno man. it's so hard to talk to her, and that really sucks.

 

[Seastar]

Spoiler

Guess who's likely getting no sleep because I was constantly bothered by my throat and every moment I wasn't, the cats decided to be obnoxious? I'm probably not getting ANY sleep today. In a few more hours everyone else will be awake and since I can't be in my room, that makes it impossible to sleep.
If I'm lucky I will fall asleep before then, but I'm just constantly dealing with these two problems on and off so it's looking very unlikely. I don't want to even be in here. I cannot imagine being stuck in here with zero sleep... I know how bad I feel without sleep, so putting stress on top of that? Please no...

I can't go back in my room again until sometime on Sunday, when the weather gets warmer.
Yes, I slept in my room last night, that was one random night it got warmer during all this.
I'm also getting even more worried about that floor problem just because of this. I'd be losing sleep pretty often if I had to stay out of my room for much longer.

I'm going to try my best to try to fall asleep now but if this goes on for much longer, I'm giving up and suffering through the day.

 

[mogyay]

genuinely impressed by the level of pettiness by some people (no direct hate just couldn't be bothered w that energy )

 

[VernalLapin]

I’m tired and have no motivation to do anything at the moment.

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[Romaki]

Spoiler: slightly nsfw

Spoiler: tw weight

my tiddies went from C to B, i think they were also D at my highest weight... why do they have to go first and not my stomache fat rip tiddies i don't mind the size though i only really have to lose my belly weight the rest is fine like my legs are just thick and can carry me for hours

 

[Alolan_Apples]

I have to get back into game development, which I took a break from, but I have no motivation into doing so.