What's Bothering You?

[Croconaw]

I just feel very detached right now. It feels weird seeing everyone else fit in and I’m just there? Like, it’s not even relevant since I probably shouldn’t be associating with people much younger than me, but it’s the situation that sucks. I feel out of place when other people are talking and I can’t contribute much since the maturity gap is so big. I guess it’s something I have to deal with working with people much younger than me sometimes. I have people close to my age, but I don’t see them everyday. I think not trying to form any meaningful friendships with minors is the mature thing to do since that in itself is a slippery slope, but like, acknowledging that I exist as a person is something they could do at the very least, lmao. I don’t normally have that issue, it’s just one person. Nothing against minors, but the age gap is just too big to have much, if anything in common.

I’m not really feeling it tonight. I sometimes wonder if my presence makes a difference, but not like death or anything drastic… I just wonder if people would care if I wasn’t part of their life. I’m friends with two people in real life and I sometimes wonder to what extent that they care? I may just be overthinking but they didn’t tell me happy birthday or acknowledge it beyond asking me about my birthday plans a few days before. I don’t really like my birthday because if friends forget, I end up just overthinking and it’s all a realization that they may have never cared in the first place. This isn’t all related to the birthday thing, but it’s contributing to everything else. I think having more people on this forum give me birthday wishes than people in real life combined just hit me hard, because I think I’ve formed some meaningful connections here. I think people on this forum are all in a similar wavelength and mindset, and it’s easy for all of us to get along.

Just a rough night, I suppose.

 

[Shawna]

I really, really don’t like not being replied to…it takes a few seconds to reply, even if the reply isn’t what someone wants to hear. It’s rude and also, not great for us over-thinkers over here…how do these people who don’t reply feel when it happens to them? I don’t rant much, but dang man…

I do not blame you. I cannot help but get a bit worried if I reply to someone, but no form acknowledgement is given to me. As an overthinker myself, I cannot help but worry about those times.

Looking at the other side of the coin, I understand not always having something to say, I've been there too, but that is why reactions, like buttons, heart buttons, etc. exist on social media.

 

[Chris]

I woke-up feeling low and very aware that I'm going to be on my own for the next 10hrs. I usually love the time I get to myself so that's a strange feeling. Maybe it has something to do with this constant loud wind and low temperatures. These storms can go away now.

I've just made a blanket nest on the couch with a hot water bottle. Going to curl up in a ball here for an hour or two then I'll attempt to be an adult after.

 

[Darcy94x]

ugh where to start…

I recently finished therapy and I just don’t feel content with how I feel after, I know CBT doesn’t work for everyone but I’m also very unbalanced in how I feel about anti-depressants hence the reason I’ve chose to think on it before just rushing in.

my friends accident in June has altered my life so significantly and I just feel like I now have nobody as he was always my go-to person but I don’t wanna be a burden when we don’t know if he will ever walk again.

Also my loss of appetite is ridiculous I’ll have GF cereal on a morning but after that I just never fancy anything to eat and idk if it’s bcos I’m limited to what I can eat I just kinda feel like I’m eating the same boring things all the time. I genuinely wouldn’t wish coeliac disease on anyone, gal just wants a cheese and ham toastie but gf bread is rank.

Anyways my kid is sick so we’re having a cosy day today with blankets, feel so helpless when all I can give him is calpol and cuddles

 

[Giddy]

I work at a lol coffee deli shop that makes sandwiches.
We got the stock in yesterday, new and some vegables; which we need for one.of the sandwiches. I left yesterday as my shift was over (had to wait an extra hour for my late coworker) but the other "worker" didnt do anything that day, so this morning I had to cut and dice all the veg

I got to the aubergine, and as I cut it, i noticed that inside is not the right shade - it just doesnt look good.

I message my boss and tell her, but she says its fine and still cook it. Ive done so but i really dont like thid feeling. I just hope no one gets sick if they buy this specific samdwich.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

I'm still pretty sick but I can't afford to keep missing school. I'm super tired and I feel nauseous, I really picked the worst morning to actually wake up and try to go through a normal day. Ughhh...

 

[mocha.]

i'm not feeling productive at all today and i have so much to do

 

[Chris]

Managed to wrench my back. In agony. And my partner is really laying the old person jokes on thick (there's 5.5yrs between us).

 

[oak]

The insurance people rejected my mom's wheelchair claim again. They want us to redo the paperwork again. We've been jumping through hoops for months. Imma keep filling out that paperwork u insurance butt heads. My heart was racing from the news but yr not gonna break me evil insurance company (hopefully)

 

[Alolan_Apples]

I’m being criticized on Discord (not the Bell Tree server, but a different one) over my argument against Wish and how it had the idea that “everyone is made of stardust”.

Criticism is like a branding iron. It hurts.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

woke up at 6 am with the realization that time is moving freakishly fast and how i really need to change my life

 

[AccfSally]

There's always that one person who can ruin everything for everyone. You don't have any idea how much of a problem you have caused.
Including forgetting that there are actual people..a living breathing person behind that character. I really want to know what is going on in people's heads when they feel they have to do such things like that.
I want to know why!

I hope she makes a full recovery, because no one needs to go though something like that.

Spoiler: Might be upsetting to some, video

 

[KittenNoir]

.

 

[Kattea]

Spoiler

No one on my unit eats lunch, it's just the culture there. I eat lunch every day because I'm under weight and it's my right? I know it bothers some people but they never say anything and honestly, I don't care. I never leave until my work is done, I'll take 30 min instead of the 1 hour I'm entitled to, and I'll stay late to make up for it if needed. Today my attending straight up asks me "why do you get to eat lunch?" and I explained to her (a doctor) "I get light headed when I don't eat". She says "ohhhh, maybe we should order you a neuro consult". The context being we have a patient right now requesting every type of consult under the sun, but like what a weird joke? Super unnecessary, lunch would be sufficient thank you, no need to take it that far or even comment AT ALL?

 

[ali.di.magix]

I tried to help, over-stepped my boundaries and made things worse yippeeeee

 

[Chris]

I was trying to fall back to sleep after my partner left for work and then received an email informing me that after multiple attempts my new employer hasn't been able to get a reference from my last boss. I thought this was all dealt with weeks ago, so now my anxious brain is trying to convince me this is malicious rather than it just ending up in her junk folder or something. Why do our brains act against us at times? Ugh.

I've dropped her an email and asked my partner (we used to be colleagues) to let me know if she sees her on-site at all today because I don't know if either party will report back to me if/when it's dealt with. So I just get to a bundle of nerves all day - yay!

 

[mocha.]

Still trying to sort out issues with my student loan… I don’t get how it’s so complicated. Everything has been awarded/confirmed now so surely the hard part is over…

also, I’ve been forgetting to take my meds and I’m really struggling with my MH at the minute. I’ve been sleeping in late, not making progress on my thesis and barely doing anything all day. I cant even force myself to go for a walk

 

[Kitsuragi]

i started a new medication that's off-label use is ADHD, on-label it's an approved WL thingy or whatever. two of my problems at once i guess, but it makes me feel terrible. i have no appetite, yes, because i feel like crap! mood wise i feel INCREDIBLE but the stomach queezies are unbearable.

 

[daringred_]

accidentally left a box of discarded tomatoes on the floor at my volunteering place. (it wasn't in anyone's way, so not a tripping hazard at least.) i meant to empty it and recycle the cardboard, but i got distracted with the rest of my task and then just... forgot, but now i'm anxious the person who pointed it out thinks i'm lazy or doing it on purpose ><

 

[jadetine]

I just need to unleash my stress by enumerating the pain points in my life and the sheer insanity of juggling it all...

Spoiler: TW: Health and Politics

• My mom had a mouth cancer detected a week before Christmas but didn't tell us until she returned from her Christmas vacation. TBF, the biopsy results are not as straightforward, but since before New Years, I have been high on tension organizing her appointments and pushing the doctors and making phone calls and just being her medical advocate. (I am fortunate to have my sister in town as backup when I get occupied with my kids, etc. and my dad, too.)
  • She is the model of health and cancer just sucks because it came out of nowhere. She never smoked nor drinks and is serious about hitting the gym everyday and eating clean. It started as a toothache and has degenerated so fast and it sucks to hear she's in pain everyday...
  • She is very scared of the idea of chemotherapy and radiation; her older friends talk about the pain, but they all survived.
  • The cancer may have been detected sooner if she got her annual dental x-rays, but too late. GO TO YOUR CHECKUPS PEOPLE! Body, mouth, eyes, lady parts, whatever recurring screenings you have access to... DO IT!
• My dad lost his job-- he was approaching retirement age and was the source for mom's insurance. It was already an emotional time when we had to drop the news on him and explain the cancer while he was at work. And then they let him go a week later...
• I was trapped behind a snowstorm and lived at the airport for a couple days trying to get back home in time for her pre-surgery meeting (which I missed, but at least I forwarded my questions and my sister took care of it). UGH. And now I get to deal with calling the airlines for my money back on baggage fees, etc.
• My mom is still touting her pro-Trump gear; she has a mug and MAGA hat and spends her alone time listening to incendiary news and I don't think that's mentally healthy. I overheard her telling her cousin about the cancer and blaming vaccines and such... I don't get why Asian parents like to push so hard to get their kids through engineering and medical schools only to end up distrusting and spreading misinformation about science. She's not uneducated... but c'mon!
• Money
  • I tried to start a vendor profile on PayPal and am prepping art and merch for eventually opening my Etsy shop, but yesterday, I accidentally paid one of my customers $60 instead of invoicing for it and now I'm anxious to get the money back. I couldn't find a link anywhere to cancel or rescind the transaction!
  • I paid for the group trip AirBNB and I'm waiting for people to pay me back. I don't like dipping below my safety net on moneys, but I haven't made any income for several years and it is scary (big thanks to my hubby for being the breadwinner)
• Kids
  • Potty training my 3yo: unsuccessful
  • Getting my 7yo to do his homework and practice writing: it's so difficult, why? Does anyone have any suggestions on fun artsy activities that will build his dexterity? He writes like he's trying to gouge the paper and gets tired quickly in his hand as a result...
• Outside the household
  • One of my best friends was not able to join us on the trip (maybe a blessing, considering the airport delays), because his wife is had a problem with her pregnancy-- she's on bed rest, but we don't know if we'll get to meet his son. And then he lost his job. At least they are at home together, but my heart aches for them.
  • My cousin had to quit her job and become a caretaker because suddenly her dad was revealed to have liver cancer as well. This is at the same time! CRAZY
• TBT: my friend kiwi quit the forum over concerns about how the staff handled disciplinary actions and emotions around the events; we don't know everything that happened and I understand some things need to be kept private, but her overall impression was negative and it was worth leaving over it... she cited several instances of feeling ignored and having her concerns dismissed. And then speaking to people who felt victimized. I want to be empathetic to all sides, but her exit post was removed and it feels like she was swept under the rug.
• Guilt: sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I am here when I could be cleaning house or making progress on other things, but I just felt the need to type out my woes. I like feeling useful; it's more motivating than anything! But sometimes I question how valuable I am and on the flipside, I just want to step out of the world for a moment and have no responsibility without everyone else's lives unraveling. Just for a moment before I dive back in...

BUT, I am blessed with a supportive husband (who is exhausting himself to help me with silly things like programming a collectibles organizer tool) and my upbeat sister and my very focused father and my hilariously tricky children and my nosy/active friends. And my mom, who despite being scared, is taking it day by day and trying her best to be brave and so I will go forth and do the same...