EDIT: HOLD ON THIS IS LITERALLY IT RIGHT HERE
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What if I’m literally a mixture of both of these? LMAO
EDIT: HOLD ON THIS IS LITERALLY IT RIGHT HERE
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big ass moodEDIT: HOLD ON THIS IS LITERALLY IT RIGHT HERE
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I can actually relate to you quite a bit. Open the spoiler for more.i deleted social media around a month ago and it's really helped me with my mental health (it was really bad before i deleted it) but now im getting bad again because like none of my friends even bother to reach out to me?? i have to always reach out to them .... and one of my friends only texts me when she needs answers for physics work and then she forgets i exist until the next assignment is due :/
only about 2 or 3 of my friends reached out to me when i first deleted my socials asking if i was okay but then i answered and they took forever to respond to me??? like why ask if you dont even care that much :"( someone i even thought was a super close friend hasnt talked to me since i deleted and she said she misses me then i replied "i miss you too!!!" but didnt even say anything after that???
i feel like quarantine has made me lose a bunch of people who i thought were my friends but now theyre just people i occasionally talk to. idk what im gonna do if we do end up going back to school for my senior year, like who am i gonna talk to LMAO
i feel like the few online friends i have care more about me than people who actually know me irl and it makes me so upset. the only people who really care about me are my boyfriend and my best friend, even though we've only been recently talking more & more each day ik she genuinely cares abt me and my wellbeing <33 and im extremely grateful for my bf because hes always there for me even tho im super difficult lol and i cry a lot to him about how much i miss him but now i have something new to cry to him about now <//3
either i really need new friends or i just stick with the two real friends i have right now :"(
bro u are literally the greatest and you can do all the things!! show that homework who's boss!!I'm drowning in all the things I need to do. There's so much. SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME PEP TALK
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bro u are literally the greatest and you can do all the things!! show that homework who's boss!!
(sorry I tried lol)
anyways I really need to call a psychiatrist's office today to see if I can find a good anti-depressant, at first I was really skeptical of taking medicine cause it's often frowned upon and people see taking meds for mental health as a "crutch". well truth be told the medicine practically is a crutch. not in a bad way, though. I've recently begun to see my depression, etc. as a "broken leg" and telling someone to walk on a broken leg without a crutch or a wheelchair is extremely debilitating and even dangerous. the leg has no chance to heal if you don't stay off of it and take care of it. I've let my depression go for too long without a crutch and it hurts a lot. I really need help.
besides, calling a SSRI/anti-depressant a bad drug is ridiculous. that's like me telling someone that the fact that their brain produces serotonin/dopamine means they're getting bad drugs as well. it just happens that mine doesn't produce serotonin and dopamine. reminds me of a funny quote I read recently, "if your brain doesn't produce serotonin, store bought is fine."
Oof. That doesn't sound great. For the first paragraph, I have no idea ;w;You could attack me with any name or insult under the sun and I wouldn't get angry or lose sleep over it. However, when someone is unexpectedly nice to me it completely blindsides me. Had a really difficult (professional) conversation earlier with someone I have enormous respect for and they said something kind that caught me off guard, I went silent, and then they continued to say such lovely things while I'm just sat nodding and trying to not let on how much it is effecting me. I must've failed, because she suddenly apologised and asked if I wanted to take a few minutes and call her back. I take a moment to think about it and before I can respond she said let's talk later in the week instead. I hate that I'm like this. As soon as the call ended I lay down on my bed and put on a movie to try take my mind off of it. 3.5hrs later I'm still lying here and feel awful. She must think she did or said something wrong. Really I was just feeling overwhelmed by her support and kindness and didn't want to show it. Tempted to message her to explain why I was unresponsive but feel like I've left it too long to say something, or worse that she'll try to resume the difficult topic that led to that - and I'm not in the right headspace to talk about it. Maybe just caving and crying would make me feel better but I can't seem to do that.
Also, in other news, I appear to have acquired some sort of stalker. This girl made multiple accounts on another site over the weekend to try and speak to me. The first message was sweet and flattering but the persistence is making me uncomfortable. Had she been patient and waited for me to reply instead of making more accounts I might have given her a chance.
this seriously reminds me of something I saw online recently, can't find the original pic but it went something like this: jokes are made with the consent of the person who is being told the joke, the receiver. if the receiver doesn't find it to be funny or finds it rude/offensive/etc. then it's no longer a joke, it's terrorism.snip
Venting on here helped. My next conversation with her isn't going to be fun - whether I take the initiative to message her or wait until our next meeting. I've some big decisions I need to make regarding the project I'm working on under her and she wants an answer this week.Oof. That doesn't sound great. For the first paragraph, I have no idea ;w;
For the second piece of news, just let this girl know you feel uncomfortable. Someone shouldn't harass someone by making a ridiculous amount of accounts just because they want them to respond. (also, I usually eat a bit of candy, hold plushies, and re-watch hamilton to take my mind off things.) Hope you feel better soon!