What's Bothering You?

I wish I could say it out loud. Honestly, interpersonal relationships can suck. I feel like nothing around this one person and an afterthought.
 
I don’t have a career, nor do I know what to get into or how to do or what to do I mean all these years of basic schooling and America couldn’t teach us how to figure this shi- out?? Thanks
 
people say checking things in your to-do list gives a serotonin boost but honestly the only thing I get from seeing my to-do list is anxiety. when I check something out of my list im just reminded of everything else I havent done (even if i know i can do them by the day) and i just. panic

it's even worse when I'm like really tired and I haven't taken a serious break in some time and I still have stuff on my to-do list. ugh
 
I had a great day yesterday but there’s still one thing about it that’s bothering me. On my way home at 10pm on the major highway (or freeway/motorway whatever you call them in your country). I was behind a large Transport/Tractor Trailer who was drifting between the two lanes. Sometimes they would be in the middle of both the lanes, sometimes in the passing lane for no real reason and sometimes in the truck lane where they belong. It was a pretty windy night so I can’t fully blame the driver but still scary nontheless. A couple cars dared to pass them but I just slowed down and stayed behind him. Getting home 10mins quicker was not worth the risk in my opinion.
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syub said:
i deleted social media around a month ago and it's really helped me with my mental health (it was really bad before i deleted it) but now im getting bad again because like none of my friends even bother to reach out to me?? i have to always reach out to them .... and one of my friends only texts me when she needs answers for physics work and then she forgets i exist until the next assignment is due :/
only about 2 or 3 of my friends reached out to me when i first deleted my socials asking if i was okay but then i answered and they took forever to respond to me??? like why ask if you dont even care that much :"( someone i even thought was a super close friend hasnt talked to me since i deleted and she said she misses me then i replied "i miss you too!!!" but didnt even say anything after that???
i feel like quarantine has made me lose a bunch of people who i thought were my friends but now theyre just people i occasionally talk to. idk what im gonna do if we do end up going back to school for my senior year, like who am i gonna talk to LMAO
i feel like the few online friends i have care more about me than people who actually know me irl and it makes me so upset. the only people who really care about me are my boyfriend and my best friend, even though we've only been recently talking more & more each day ik she genuinely cares abt me and my wellbeing <33 and im extremely grateful for my bf because hes always there for me even tho im super difficult lol and i cry a lot to him about how much i miss him but now i have something new to cry to him about now <//3
either i really need new friends or i just stick with the two real friends i have right now :"(
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I can actually relate to you quite a bit. Open the spoiler for more.
Back in high school especially I felt like I had a bunch of “friends” who just didn’t really care all that much about me. I’d often get left out of things without even knowing about it. Such as no one turning up to our usually lunch meetup place. Not only was I excluded from what they were doing together no one even bothered to let me know that no one would be around that day. It was very upsetting.

Unfortunately people and “friends” can be cruel. You deserve better than those who just want to use you for school work help. Also as my high school days are now a fair bit behind me I can confidently say that most people you knew in school will effectively just disappear from your life. I personally don’t talk to anyone from high school anymore but that’s ok cause I have a couple close friends now who do care and that’s what matters.

It sounds like you do have one great best friend as well as a boyfriend and honestly that’s probably enough. Friendship is more about quality than quantity in my opinion. Just one or two really close friends is 1000x better than 10+ “friends” who don’t really care about you.

If I were to offer you some advice I’d focus on the great people you do have in your life and not worry so much about the rest. It’s fine to work on some school work together with them but I’d personally consider them more as acquaintances than friends. Focus your time and energy on your best friend and boyfriend and I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better about yourself. Also while not the same as real life friends online friends can still be great people too even if you never get to see them personally in the flesh.
 
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Dawnpiplup said:
I'm drowning in all the things I need to do. There's so much. SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME PEP TALK
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bro u are literally the greatest and you can do all the things!! show that homework who's boss!!
(sorry I tried lol)


anyways I really need to call a psychiatrist's office today to see if I can find a good anti-depressant, at first I was really skeptical of taking medicine cause it's often frowned upon and people see taking meds for mental health as a "crutch". well truth be told the medicine practically is a crutch. not in a bad way, though. I've recently begun to see my depression, etc. as a "broken leg" and telling someone to walk on a broken leg without a crutch or a wheelchair is extremely debilitating and even dangerous. the leg has no chance to heal if you don't stay off of it and take care of it. I've let my depression go for too long without a crutch and it hurts a lot. I really need help.

besides, calling a SSRI/anti-depressant a bad drug is ridiculous. that's like me telling someone that the fact that their brain produces serotonin/dopamine means they're getting bad drugs as well. it just happens that mine doesn't produce serotonin and dopamine. reminds me of a funny quote I read recently, "if your brain doesn't produce serotonin, store bought is fine."
 
xSuperMario64x said:
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Reminds me that I’ve been on an anti-depressant for years since I was young, and I literally couldn’t function without it when I was younger. Nowadays though it doesn’t affect me as much. I’ve been wanting to talk to my psychiatrist about it and start weening off of it. The only problem is it helps me sleep, and I get terrible sleep without it. I would have to figure that out before getting off of it first. But yeah, it’s definitely not a bad drug and if you think you need it, you should definitely try getting prescribed on one. Best of luck with this. :)
 
xSuperMario64x said:
bro u are literally the greatest and you can do all the things!! show that homework who's boss!!
(sorry I tried lol)


anyways I really need to call a psychiatrist's office today to see if I can find a good anti-depressant, at first I was really skeptical of taking medicine cause it's often frowned upon and people see taking meds for mental health as a "crutch". well truth be told the medicine practically is a crutch. not in a bad way, though. I've recently begun to see my depression, etc. as a "broken leg" and telling someone to walk on a broken leg without a crutch or a wheelchair is extremely debilitating and even dangerous. the leg has no chance to heal if you don't stay off of it and take care of it. I've let my depression go for too long without a crutch and it hurts a lot. I really need help.

besides, calling a SSRI/anti-depressant a bad drug is ridiculous. that's like me telling someone that the fact that their brain produces serotonin/dopamine means they're getting bad drugs as well. it just happens that mine doesn't produce serotonin and dopamine. reminds me of a funny quote I read recently, "if your brain doesn't produce serotonin, store bought is fine."
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Thanks my man. Also, yeah if you're struggling - definitely call up a psychiatrist. I do a little of both - meds and therapy. I will say that although I still struggle now, I can tell you that things have changed for me when I started taking meds and seeing a therapist. And I can't credit that to just the therapy alone - even my therapist would agree that medicine has their benefits. It's like this: if a person is struggling to get out of bed, has constant negative and harmful thoughts about themselves, and their mentality is making them dysfunctional in day-to-day life - what's the harm of prescribing them medicine? If anything, it would surely help their mentality a bit - at least to the point where they are able to have more control over it. With meds, that person may be able to feel up to doing things like regaining control over their life, etc. Ugh. 'Bad drugs.' That's what my family would say.
 
I am worried about April Fools Day coming up in the next few weeks. I have a dark story about it. When I was young I remember my family would prank me telling me how I was going to get a great surprise that was going to be happy. Then when I found out what it was it turned out to be nothing but just fake money. They shouted "April Fools! Haha you feel for it" at the time I remember just feeling really annoyed and upset. Of course they say "Its just a joke lighten up". I did get over it but then I became skeptical whenever someone tries to Surprise me.

It got worse when I was in high school. My best friend thought it would be a great joke on April Fools Day to spread lies about me around the school. In the school I was getting asked questions of "Do you dance in your underwear while no one is looking?" and I told no thats a lie I never did something like that. I got very annoyed and I found it was my best friend who was doing that when I asked random students around the school where they got the rumor from. I confronted my best friend told him "What do you think you are doing?" and he just replied "April Fools! Haha you fell for it! I told everyone a fake story about you". I remember feeling so angry and felt someone stabbed me in the back. How is this suppose to be funny? This is something that a bully would do. I just shouted at him "WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS! I HATE YOU!" then just ran away and he started laughing saying "haha what a crybaby"

I know this got personal but this is something that has always bothered me when I think of April Fools Day and I have a strong hatred towards it. Whenever its April Fools Day I tend to remain skeptical and cautious around everything and everyone because I don't want to get hurt like that again. I know people tell me all the time "Its just a joke" but there are certain things that you should never do whenever someone pranks you this harshly and it leaves an impact on your life. Nobody would understand me and what it feels like to have people call you an "idiot" for falling for stuff. I suffered from depression after those April Fools Pranks I had. I know its dramatic, but thats how I felt at the time and nobody ever took me seriously so thats why I have trust issues these days.
 
what kind of asshats is sceptical about medicine it's not that you're taking dangerous alternative stuff?

anyway i really wish the mail company here could confirm whether my package from Japan is stuck back there, in Sweden or whatever cause I really need to file a claim with the seller soon.

My US one will probably come here but probably also stuck lmao.
 
You could attack me with any name or insult under the sun and I wouldn't get angry or lose sleep over it. However, when someone is unexpectedly nice to me it completely blindsides me. Had a really difficult (professional) conversation earlier with someone I have enormous respect for and they said something kind that caught me off guard, I went silent, and then they continued to say such supportive things while I'm just sat nodding and trying to not let on how much it is effecting me. I must've failed, because she suddenly apologised and asked if I wanted to take a few minutes and call her back. I take a moment to think about it and before I can respond she said let's talk later in the week instead. I hate that I'm like this. As soon as the call ended I lay down on my bed and put on a movie to try take my mind off of it. 3.5hrs later I'm still lying here and feel awful. She must think she did or said something wrong. Really I was just feeling overwhelmed by her support and kindness and didn't want to show it. Tempted to message her to explain why I was unresponsive but feel like I've left it too long to say something, or worse that she'll try to resume the difficult topic that led to that - and I'm not in the right headspace to talk about it. Maybe just caving and crying would make me feel better but I can't seem to do that.

Also, in other news, I appear to have acquired some sort of stalker. This girl made multiple accounts on another site over the weekend to try and speak to me. The first message was sweet and flattering but the persistence is making me uncomfortable. Had she been patient and waited for me to reply instead of making more accounts I might have given her a chance.
 
Vrisnem said:
You could attack me with any name or insult under the sun and I wouldn't get angry or lose sleep over it. However, when someone is unexpectedly nice to me it completely blindsides me. Had a really difficult (professional) conversation earlier with someone I have enormous respect for and they said something kind that caught me off guard, I went silent, and then they continued to say such lovely things while I'm just sat nodding and trying to not let on how much it is effecting me. I must've failed, because she suddenly apologised and asked if I wanted to take a few minutes and call her back. I take a moment to think about it and before I can respond she said let's talk later in the week instead. I hate that I'm like this. As soon as the call ended I lay down on my bed and put on a movie to try take my mind off of it. 3.5hrs later I'm still lying here and feel awful. She must think she did or said something wrong. Really I was just feeling overwhelmed by her support and kindness and didn't want to show it. Tempted to message her to explain why I was unresponsive but feel like I've left it too long to say something, or worse that she'll try to resume the difficult topic that led to that - and I'm not in the right headspace to talk about it. Maybe just caving and crying would make me feel better but I can't seem to do that.

Also, in other news, I appear to have acquired some sort of stalker. This girl made multiple accounts on another site over the weekend to try and speak to me. The first message was sweet and flattering but the persistence is making me uncomfortable. Had she been patient and waited for me to reply instead of making more accounts I might have given her a chance.
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Oof. That doesn't sound great. For the first paragraph, I have no idea ;w;

For the second piece of news, just let this girl know you feel uncomfortable. Someone shouldn't harass someone by making a ridiculous amount of accounts just because they want them to respond. (also, I usually eat a bit of candy, hold plushies, and re-watch hamilton to take my mind off things.) Hope you feel better soon!
 
SoraFan23 said:
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this seriously reminds me of something I saw online recently, can't find the original pic but it went something like this: jokes are made with the consent of the person who is being told the joke, the receiver. if the receiver doesn't find it to be funny or finds it rude/offensive/etc. then it's no longer a joke, it's terrorism.
 
OtakuTrash said:
Oof. That doesn't sound great. For the first paragraph, I have no idea ;w;

For the second piece of news, just let this girl know you feel uncomfortable. Someone shouldn't harass someone by making a ridiculous amount of accounts just because they want them to respond. (also, I usually eat a bit of candy, hold plushies, and re-watch hamilton to take my mind off things.) Hope you feel better soon!
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Venting on here helped. My next conversation with her isn't going to be fun - whether I take the initiative to message her or wait until our next meeting. I've some big decisions I need to make regarding the project I'm working on under her and she wants an answer this week.

I'm not even going to dignify stalker girl with a response. I've never had contact with her and don't want to encourage the idea that if she messages someone enough times from many different accounts they'll cave and reply. I'm sure she'll get the hint eventually.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. 🖤
 
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