What's Bothering You?

My wisdom tooth is definitely growing in too far to the side and I want to cry šŸ™ƒ I can feel it a little bit with my cheek and looking in the mirror I can see it's not going to come in in a good spot. I'm hoping it'll just sort of... stop growing for a while. I definitely don't feel comfortable going to the dentist given how my province/town is currently being affected by the pandemic. I would also much rather visit the dentist when I am working and have money because Godddd universal healthcare that doesn't include dental care is a joke. Only a few more months until summer when I can hopefully be vaccinated. šŸ˜…
 
Iā€™m really concerned with my mother right now. Since she has to take public transportation during weekdays, I canā€™t help but fear the higher risk of catching this virus, especially since the cases are still rising. Sheā€™s lacking iron which means she gets tired easily after doing simple tasks. I donā€™t want to imagine my mom getting it. :cry:
Also, I donā€™t usually cuss but I just want to say, **** you covid. I ******* hate you. Stay the **** away from my family. You are literally killing and causing divide between people. Iā€™m tired of hearing you all the time. I want to eliminate you with a vaccine. I donā€™t wanna see your microscopic face ever again.
 
i can hear a neighborā€™s dog barking with my game nearly on full blast. probably same neighbor that let out the momā€™s cats many years ago since he didnā€™t want to feed and they ended up clinging to our screen door in the winter starving. and i hear some other dogs barking as well šŸ˜”. i hate having a good hearing.
 
it's so hard to date as an lgbt+ person when the community is hyper-fixated on hookup culture. like more power to ya, but i just can't. it feels so artificial to me and i just can't use people like that.
For real, people treat you like you're a waste of time when you're looking for a relationship and not just a hookup
 
editing my island journal entries even ones that have been up a few days or months have been costing me bells still. :/ even for entries where i add a period and extra space if i find that i forgot to put a punctuation. Another one I think i lost bells on was a post from October and i only replaced an image and extra attachment there. i updated my inquiry. I was thinking of making another entry but this makes me think I should wait until they find a permanent solution to this. šŸ¤ž
 
probably same neighbor that let out the momā€™s cats many years ago since he didnā€™t want to feed and they ended up clinging to our screen door in the winter starving.

i have never wanted to fight someone more than i do rn. what kind of human being would do something like that. :/ those poor cats. :(
 
i have never wanted to fight someone more than i do rn. what kind of human being would do something like that. :/ those poor cats. :(

I wish we could report that kind of stuff to police :/. A lot of crazy stuff happens over there. The police used to be over there a lot.

We ended up bringing in the cats, but it ruined the relationships of my cats and they ruined so much furniture. And we had to eventually find them new homes, otherwise more furniture wouldā€™ve been ruined. No regrets saving the cats. But those type of people are unforgivable.
 
I know the word ā€œqueerā€ is becoming more mainstream and accepted and such. I just wish some people would remember that it is still used as a slur in some places and not everybody is 100% okay with that label?

Iā€™m a lesbian. Iā€™m gay. Iā€™m part of the LGBT+ community. Those are labels I am okay and comfortable with. Iā€™m not comfortable with queer. Why? Because thatā€™s what the homophobic people around here say. ā€œOh thereā€™s something wrong with her sheā€™s one of those queers.ā€ ā€œSheā€™s just a little... queer, yunno? Not right in the head.ā€ You can hear it in the way they use the word. Theyā€™re using it in a hateful, mean spirited way. It makes me want to disappear.

I get that people are saying theyā€™re reclaiming the slur and thatā€™s fine for themselves. But why are they reclaiming the slur for me? Why are straight people reclaiming the slur? Itā€™s the same as how Iā€™m not comfortable with the word ****. I hate it. My dad uses it and you can hear the hatred and disgust every time he says it.

Itā€™s technically my word to reclaim but I choose not too. I never use it for anybody else, either. Even if I know theyā€™re a lesbian - because itā€™s not my place to assume they would want that word directed at them. **** has a rocky, hurtful, upsetting history. It rightfully bothers some people when itā€™s used to describe them so I never assume itā€™s okay to use, even in a light hearted or joking manner.

Idk. Just messy and confusing and it feels like every time I say Iā€™m not comfortable with queer in other spaces someone always tells me Iā€™m a terf/homophobe/bigot??? For not liking that word?? Because apparently itā€™s those groups of people who think itā€™s a slur and the fact that itā€™s still commonly used as a slur in my backwards town isnā€™t a good enough reason to not feel comfortable having the word directed at me???
 
I'm feeling really lost in life right now. I'm dead exhausted in medicine and I'm not the stellar student I used to be in college; people say to "remember the reason why I entered" and honestly I have nothing good to say? I just thought medicine was interesting but there's just so much to memorize that the time clench is sucking all the enjoyment out of me studying. I don't know what I want to do in life and I don't want to quit medicine because that's like more than a hundred-thousand-dollars fine in my school and I know I can't afford that. I'm stuck here for 4 more years until I can learn to enjoy it at this fast pace I guess. I'm just trying to live every week dead tired and without energy and I feel insecure my classmates are doing way better than me and I can't keep up. I feel like trash compared to them.

Then there's the issue with me trying to earn money, like people tell me it's okay I'm not working yet because I'm a medical student, but I just feel so insecure some people my age are already earning a lot? I want to be independent too but I can't seem to find the time to practice hobbies I can try selling. I can't even enjoy doing hobbies without thinking of ways to earn money from it. I know it's not supposed to be this way but idk I can't get it out of my mind.

I should go see a therapist. Bottling this all up is too much sometimes.
 
My helix piercing is starting to hurt a little bit again -w-

I got it done about 3-4 weeks ago, and I know the healing time is a LOT longer than that, so it's probably normal that it's hurting, but it wasn't hurting for about a week or two and I was so relieved ;w;

I've been sleeping on the opposite side except, there are a few times I'll roll onto my other side and lay there for a while, maybe that's why it's starting to hurt again, lol
 
I find the villager dialogue in ACNH to be too repetitive. In addition, there isn't too much content in the game compared to other games I've played. I know it's a game with free DLC but I feel they should have released it with more content. According to my friend older games had lore/flashbacks of npc's. I think this feature would be so cool and I hate how it wasn't added. Also I'm frustrated that the target amiibo sold out so fast.
 
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My wisdom tooth is definitely growing in too far to the side and I want to cry šŸ™ƒ I can feel it a little bit with my cheek and looking in the mirror I can see it's not going to come in in a good spot. I'm hoping it'll just sort of... stop growing for a while. I definitely don't feel comfortable going to the dentist given how my province/town is currently being affected by the pandemic. I would also much rather visit the dentist when I am working and have money because Godddd universal healthcare that doesn't include dental care is a joke. Only a few more months until summer when I can hopefully be vaccinated. šŸ˜…

As a fellow Canadian I hear you on this one. I was covered under my Dad's work as a child and teen, but no longer as an adult. Before I started a job that had dental coverage I remember having to pay $200+ out of pocket for just an ordinary cleaning/check up.

I hope your wisdom tooth doesn't cause too much trouble.
 
As a fellow Canadian I hear you on this one. I was covered under my Dad's work as a child and teen, but no longer as an adult. Before I started a job that had dental coverage I remember having to pay $200+ out of pocket for just an ordinary cleaning/check up.

I hope your wisdom tooth doesn't cause too much trouble.

That's how I am, too! I was covered when I was a child and teen but as soon as I turned 18 they were like, "nah. You can pay for your own dental care now," šŸ™ƒ I get not covering like... whitening your teeth maybe, but general check ups and when you need teeth removed? That should definitely be covered imo. I'm super grumpy because none of my wisdom teeth decided to grow in until after I'd left my job that provided dental care šŸ˜­
 
I've earache and a sore throat. Getting sick without even leaving the house must be some sort of accomplishment.
 
I donā€™t know why the quality of my work ethic is degrading. I donā€™t know if itā€™s because of burnout or laziness or what. I have many exams coming up this month and next month and Iā€™m starting to feel pretty nervous about studying for all of them. I just get scared that one failed exam will dictate my final grades and topple my hard work from the past 3 months.
 
i feel fat in everything i wear :/
 
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